I am preparing for the 5th P.F. Chang’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Arizona Marathon. I have participated in the race each year it’s been held, having first done the Half-Marathon in 2004, then trying the Full Marathon in 2005, returning to the Half for 2006 and 2007, and now I’m signed up to do the Full in 2008, which will be held on the 1-year anniversary of my father’s death.

The day before the race in 2007, I got news that my father had died suddenly, of a massive heart attack, in the hospital, where he had just undergone ’successful’ gastric bypass surgery he hadn’t told me he was having. He was 57 years old. My father had battled his weight for as much of my life as I can remember and I suppose this surgery was his last ditch effort to get his weight under control and restore himself to health. Obviously, he made the decision to attend to his health too late.

I had been saying goodbye to him for several years, in my heart, knowing he could not survive to old age with his extreme obesity, but it didn’t make the news any less shocking or the event any less painful. However, I already had some experience watching loved ones die at their own hands of preventable causes, having watched my grandmother succumb to lung cancer, still smoking while undergoing chemotherapy. Before that, there was an aunt whose alcoholism was so bad that her sisters had to go out of state to get her and bring her back to their parents home to live when she was well over 30 years of age. She died under mysterious circumstances that were, no doubt, alcohol-related. I had also watched my Great-Grandfather wither away with emphysema before losing my dad, so it’s not like watching family members orchestrate their own deaths was a new thing to me. In fact, it’s getting quite old, which is why I have decided not to make that same mistake if I can help it.

The question is… can I help it? Everyone dies, so it’s not like I’m gonna live forever, and accidents happen. I’m not going to live in a bubble, trying to protect myself from any potentially dangerous or harmful situation, but I am going to do my best to stop my family’s legacy of ending ones own life much earlier than necessary by making bad lifestyle choices.

For a long time, I was a fine member of my family. I smoked, I drank, I ate junk every chance I got, and drank my body weight in Diet Mountain Dew just about every day for most of 2 decades. Life was good. I was young, strong, smart, and I had everything I wanted – or so I thought. I was in dysfunctional relationships, I had no stamina, no energy, and although I was young, I didn’t look anywhere near as good as I should have. I just didn’t notice that until I cleaned up my act. Nearing 40 years of age, I could easily kick the butt of my 25-year-old self. At 25, a flight of stairs would wind me. Now I can jog for miles. At 25, I worked and slept and that was about it. At 40, I run a successful business, I have a great marriage, I have friends, I socialize, I exercise, and I still get plenty of sleep. I’m doing better now than I was then and it’s because I’ve made lifestyle changes.

I no longer smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol or caffeine, and I exercise several times a week. My primary battle at this time is with food, just like my dad, but I’m gonna win the battle. I’m gonna do it for me and for future generations in our family, and I’m going to do it in his honor. He was a good man and I love him dearly. He just never figured out how to keep himself alive. I’m gonna figure it out and doing the marathon is part of my plan.

I did the Half in 2007, the day after I got the call that he had died. I thought about getting on an airplane and immediately rushing to his side and missing my marathon, but I realized he was already dead and he was going to be just as dead in 24 hours. Meanwhile, I was still alive and part of why I was still alive is that I had made lifestyle changes which included running marathons, so I ran the race the next day.

It was both a horrible and a wonderful experience. The temperature was awful, 32 degrees in Arizona – unheard of. I cried and screamed and wailed throughout most of the race, but I ran well and finished much earlier than I had expected. The race gave me 13.1 miles to process all my feelings and get a good start on my grieving. I was so glad I ran the race, rather than skipping it. When I saw that the 2008 race would be on the 1-year anniversary of his death, I knew immediately that I would sign up.

I didn’t know, however, that I’d be doing the Full Marathon. That arose out of a contest to select 5 men and 5 women to profile in the months before the race. I entered, hoping they could choose a Half-Marathon runner, but they would only select those registered for the Full. I wanted, badly enough, to share my story and try to prevent others from losing their loved ones prematurely, that I switched my entry to the Full.

In life, my father was quite a character and made his way into newspapers and magazines and even onto television as The Guy With The Horns. He loved the limelight. This is my way of putting him in the public eye one more time.

I love you Dad!