This is officially out of control. Four-point-four miles at seven miles-per-hour?!?! What on earth was I thinking? I better strap myself in for the rest of this training program, I think it’s gonna be going at breakneck speed from this point forward. EGADS!
I gave myself ample time to warm up and I sure did need it, too. I did a whole song at like 4 mph, then another at 5 mph, then another at 6mph, and finally got it up to 7 mph, having logged in over a mile by that time.
I started the mileage counter over and just started going. It was very hard and I was struggling for every 10th of a mile. Long about .64 miles, I accidentally knocked the emergency stopping device off of it’s resting place, which causes the machine to stop. Oh no! I don’t mean to stop now! Go again! Go! Oh crap, it’s giving me the ‘end of workout’ stats. It won’t start again and if I stop for too long, I will lose my warm-up, so I just canceled it all out and started the timer over again.
Now I have to do math. How much is 4.4 minus .64? Ay yi yi, this is really hard! I know it’s just simple math, but when I’m running at this speed, I have all I can do to just keep going, stay upright, and not crash off the treadmill, let alone do math. Eventually, I figured it would be 3.76 miles and I set my sights on 3.76.
So, how long has it been so far? .65. What? That’s only .01 more than I just had. Oh wait, though, it’s .65 plus .64. How much is that? Um, more math. Oh, forget it, just shoot for 3.76 and nevermind how many you have so far. Okay, is it time yet? No, it’s just .83. This is going to take ALL DAY!
It just went on and on and on like that for what seemed like an eternity. So, I looked at the timer and it said something like 12 minutes. Twelve minutes? You’ve got to be kidding. I must have been at this for at least 2 hours. This is ridiculous.
It went on and on and on some more and I was still only at about 2 miles. I seriously started to worry that I wouldn’t make it, but I just kept going. Eventually, I got to about 3 miles and started to think maybe I’d finish, but then the distance seemed to be going even slower. It would be 3.05, then 3.06, then 3.07 and it seemed I’d never make it.
I hit 3.11 at about 27 minutes, which was a very good 5k time, but 3.11 was still a very far cry from 3.76. I started counting down hundredths of a mile from 65 to 64 to 63, but I only made it down to about 55 and I wanted to give up. So, at about a half-mile, I told myself it was only a half-mile and I had to make it a half-mile. I started counting down tenths of a mile.
Four tenths. Three tenths. Two tenths. Back to counting down hundredths. Twenty. Nineteen. Eighteen. Oh, this is too long and boring!!! Fifteen. Fourteen. When will this ever end?!?!?! I concentrated on something on TV for as long as I could and when I looked back, I had .10 to go. Ten. Nine. Eight. Shut your eyes. Hold your breath. Just keep going. Six. Five. Four. OH MY GOSH, WHEN WILL THIS END?!?! Three. Two. One. I did it! I did it! It’s over! Holy Cow, it’s over!
I quickly put the speed down to 6 mph, then 5.5, then 5, then stayed there a while, then put it down to 4.5, then 4, then 3.5, then kept it there a while, then cranked it down to 3, then 2.5, then 2. After a good long cool-down time, I finally got off the torture device and then spent a good 10-15 minutes stretching and continuing to cool down.
A long, hot shower, a couple of meals, and an internet radio show later, I’m about ready to get started doing some work here at my office, or maybe I’ll eat again, who knows? In any event, I’ll have to at least recover before my 4pm client gets here in a half an hour!