Alright, I have got to say, this is getting ridiculous! I don’t know who thinks I’m supposed to go 4.9 miles at 7 mph, but whoever it is, they need a serious attitude adjustment. Oh wait, I set this up. What on earth was I thinking? Well, here it is, on my calendar, do 4.9 miles at 7 mph, so I better at least go attempt it.

Of course I know that if I go at it with that attitude, of ‘at least attempting it,’ that’s sure to result in failure, so I better get a more decent game plan than that.

I thought about my Marathon Playlist of music and I chose a section of it to use for the run. I decided I’d listen to Miles 17, 18, 19, 20, and 21 for my running music and that I’d use Mile 16 and the very end of Mile 15 to warm up to 7 mph.

So, I got myself on the treadmill and turned on the last song on Mile 15 and allowed myself to go from 0 mph up to 4 mph during that song. The song was pretty much ending and I was still only on 3.8, so I bumped it up to 4 for the very last few notes and for the silence between it and the next song. During that song, I steadily bumped the speed up from 4 to about 4.8, and again, the song was ending and I wasn’t quite up to speed, so I knocked it up to 5.0 and got ready for the next song. I kept on raising the speed and did manage to hit 6 mph before that song completely ended and that only left me one more song to get up to 7 mph, so I kept at it and kept raising the speed.

I actually jumped from about 6 to 6.5 rather quickly and wanted to just skip the rest of the song and go right up to 7, but I have learned, from past experiences, that that just doesn’t end up being a good idea, so I slowed the rate of my speed increase and just let the rest of that song play out and timed it so that I was up to 7 mph at just about the end of that song.

Then it was time to go! Although I already had like a mile and a quarter in, I started the treadmill timer over again at zero and put it at 7 mph and then just tried to survive the run.

I have to say I did make it about a half-mile without much in the way of effort, but by .6 miles, I was already looking at the numbers. Oh, this is gonna be a LONG run if I’m already looking to quit. So, I focused on the music, on the TV, on watching other people work out, on the TV, on the music, on other people, on the TV, and then I had to look again. Hmm. .8. Well, at least I made some progress, and I am almost at a mile, that’s good, right? Yeah, a mile is good. Look at the time – it says like 6 minutes. That’s it? Six minutes? I’ve only been doing this six minutes, and it already feels like too much? This is just ridiculous!!!!

Well, it just went on and on and on and on like that for what seemed like days. Every time I looked, only a few tenths of a mile had accumulated. Eventually I was at about 2.1 miles and that started to seem like alot, but not really, when you consider I wasn’t even half-way yet. So, back on focusing on the TVs, the other people, stuff that’s on the walls, the TVs, other people, Aaaarrrgh! How long has it been? Like 2.25 miles. This is just torturous. I’m never gonna make 4.9 miles.

Well, I figure that 2.25 miles is at least closing in on a 5k distance, so maybe I can keep myself focused long enough to see what sort of a 5k time this speed will give me. So, I focus on that – trying to reach 3.11 miles. Am I there yet? No, it’s about 2.6. How ’bout now? 2.65. Uh oh, I’m starting this again, this makes it worse. How many now? 2.75. Oh, this just isn’t right. Look at the TV’s again. But I don’t want to miss when it turns to 3.11. You won’t. I might. You won’t. Okay, I’m just gonna look now, just to check. 2.8. Okay stop. Stop looking. You will know when it gets closer to 3.11. I just snuck a peek and it was 2.9, so at least I was getting close. 2.92. 2.93. 2.93. 2.93. Good grief, now I’ve started this – looking before it even gets a chance to change at all. I have got to stop looking! But what if its’ time? 2.95. Look, it’s almost time. 2.97. Will this never end? 2.98. Look away for the love of God! 3.0. Whoa, there it is, there’s 3 miles at least. I have a chance. I might make it. I hit three miles. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Three miles. Not too much longer now. 3.04. Here we go again. 3.05. 3.06. C’mon, when will I get there? 3.08. 3.10. 3.10. 3.10. C’mon, turn, blast it! 3.10. This stupid thing is broken, I just knew it. Oh wait, there it is – 3.11! Okay, okay, okay, I did it! What is my time? Of course, I don’t even remember now, but I think it was something like 26:48 – something that wasn’t quite 27 minutes, at least 10 minutes faster than some of my 5k times when I run with Duane. Alright. I’ll take it. That’s quite a good time!

Now, there’s just one problem. I still need to run another 1.79 miles at this speed. Okay, I’m just not going to make it. I don’t have any water and I need to stop and get a drink. I can’t stop. I’ll never get going again. It’s okay to stop for water. You’re just bargaining with yourself ’cause you want to stop. It’s water for Pete’s sake, I can have water, it’s not a chocolate bar, it’s water and I can have it. Well, go ahead and have it, if you want to – quitter! Oh, this is just retarded. I just need to go get a quick drink of water and come right back and finish out the rest of my run. This is very simple. It’s not the complicated bargaining of an addict, it’s the thirst of a runner. Who knows what it is. I’m going to get a drink and that’s all there is to it.

I pause the machine and glide over to the drinking fountain (aka “bubbler” for all my Wisconsin peeps!), and yes, I did GLIDE. Running in place for so long, once I was on the ground, the floor just magically disappeared behind me as I floated to the fountain for my drink. I flew back to the treadmill and finished out my run.

Oh yeah, it was almost that easy. I wish. I struggled and struggled and struggled and bargained and distracted myself and concentrated and didn’t concentrate and tried to focus on things and tried not to focus on things and this went on and on and on and on. Eventually, I was within about 4 tenths of a mile from the end and a great song came on. I just went nuts and bumped the speed up to like 7.6 mph. That was insane. Yeah, all 17 or 18 seconds of it was insane. I was back down to 7 pretty quick, but I had racked up some distance pretty quickly, so I was much closer to the end.

I finally reached the end and then had to walk for about a half-mile to cool down. This is just getting nuts. On one hand, I can’t wait for this to be over, and on the other hand, I do know I’ll be very sad when it is over. So, maybe I need to do something about that, something preventative. I don’t know what, yet, but I’ll think on that some. What can I do so I’m not sad after the Marathon, once all this training is done?

Well, I can go back to my original plan which was to do 3 half-marathons in 2007. Obviously, I changed the first one to a full marathon, but I think I need to start planning for my next halfs, one in February, and one in March. Yeah, that will keep the Marathon spirit going ’till at least March. Then what? I don’t know, but I guess I’ll think of something and I don’t think it will be running. Probably back to the gym ’till at least October when it will be time to do this again…..